Path of the Wicked

Yesterday some of my middle school guys and I began Romans for our mostly-weekly small group gathering. When I read the Bible, I spend a bit of time around each line, making sure I understand it on the surface before moving on. It's very easy the way most Bibles are written to simple read the words and not internalize any meaning from them. Anyway, as I read and try to follow along, I wait for something strange to jump out at me. Usually it's a very odd wording, or something that the author repeats over and over again. In this case, it happens to be an incredibly long list of things wicked men do. After a pretty wordy paragraph on homosexuality, Paul adds....

Romans 1:28-31
28Furthermore, since they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, he gave them over to a depraved mind, to do what ought not to be done. 29They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips, 30slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents; 31they are senseless, faithless, heartless, ruthless.

Paul lists off at least 22 forms of wicked things. My personal favorite is in the middle of all these acts, it clearly wasn't enough, so the people invented NEW ways of doing evil that didn't even exist yet. It's interesting that a lot of the things on this list are things we do occasionally. Greed, disobeying parents, senselessness, envy.... But clearly Paul pants a picture of a people that are just... so far off the deep end it's depressing. As we (our small group) were going through this passage, it's interesting to note that this whole cacophony of evil begins ever so simply. If you wonder how a people could possible fall so far into depravity, you only need to look a few paragraph up....

Romans 1:21
21For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened.

Even though they knew and understood God, they never glorified him or gave him thanks. That's it....

It doesn't say they cursed him, they ran away from him, it doesn't even really say they ignored him. All it really says is that they never gave him thanks or glory. That was all it took to allow their hearts to be filled with wickedness.

When we glorify God and give him thanks for the many blessings in our lives, we keep our eyes fixed forward, and it's a lot easier to run the race when you're looking in the right direction.

My life be like...

Yay for GRITS!

So the three of you that still check this site out are probably wondering, "why the heck isn't Rob updating his blog?!" Well the short answer is that I've been busy lately. When ever I change something major in my life, it always takes me a little while to get back 'into the groove' again. Selling cars has been a huge life change for me, and I've been able to hold onto a lot of things. I've gotten to spend time with some of my amazing friends, had a pretty good string of reading my Bible every day, and had a lot of fun at Church. Unfortunately, the blog has been suffering big time.

Time to wrestle that area back into my routine. The new job is going awesome! I have discovered that I really love selling as a profession. The schedule is a little tough, but aside from that, I can't complain. So if anyone wants to come see me, feel free. By the way, if anyone you know wants to buy a Honda and you send them to me, I can put $200 in your pocket! :-)

And now to enjoy my night off.

My weekend...

Proverbs 17:9
He who covers over an offense promotes love,
but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.

One of the things I have to get used to with the new schedule is the random string of days off. This week for example, I had Sunday and Monday off from work, thus this is my weekend. The nice thing is that my good friends the McCart's are usually around the house and Kelly and Jennica are staying with them for a few weeks. It makes it easy to see my friends during the week.

Yesterday I went golfing with Phillip and I learned that I may never forget how to ride a bike, but I sure as heck can't remember how to swing a club. Time for some practice. Tennis today was much better though.

Saturday was my first day on the floor and I sold my first car. Lets home this is the first of many. Back to work for the next 5 days tomorrow!!

Psalm 14:1-5
1 The fool ^[a] says in his heart,
"There is no God."
They are corrupt, their deeds are vile;
there is no one who does good.

2 The LORD looks down from heaven
on the sons of men
to see if there are any who understand,
any who seek God.

3 All have turned aside,
they have together become corrupt;
there is no one who does good,
not even one.

4 Will evildoers never learn—
those who devour my people as men eat bread
and who do not call on the LORD ?

5 There they are, overwhelmed with dread,
for God is present in the company of the righteous.

You know, the more I know Jesus, the easier it is to live my life and be positive. Those of you who know me know that I am rarely down about anything. That wasn't always the case. I use to be insecure, unsure of myself, and very withdrawn. I call it middle school. In high school I became much more outgoing, but still struggled with life in general. It wasn't until I put my faith in Jesus that I understood what joy was like in His presence.

Trying something new

So, my spiritual life recently has been majorly slacking. I'm going to try something new and we'll see how it works out. I'm going to try to post at least one verse (that I read that day) on my blog every day to make sure I'm reading my bible and taking the steps I need to protect myself and grow in Christ. This is public permission for all my friends to get on my case if I go more than a day without doing it. I'm going to try it for a week and see what happens....

Psalm 71:17-18
Since my youth, O God, you have taught me,
and to this day I declare your marvelous deeds.

Even when I am old and gray, do not forsake me, O God,
till I declare your power to the next generation,
your might to all who are to come.

On a complete side note, why the heck don't I read the Bible more often? It's seriously the best freaking book I've ever read and I always get something positive out of it.

Why I can't work from home.

So I have had two days off from the dealership and I'm taking these days to finish up on my training modules online. They are supposed to take 3ish weeks and I'm going to knock these suckers out so I can start selling cars ASAP. I'm basically working full time from home these two days and I've realized I will probably never make a living doing this because...

1. There is now always something more important than dishes or laundry
2. I can now eat something when ever I'm hungry without depositing cash into a machine
3. I apparently don't shower unless I'm going out in public somewhere
4. When people call me I'm convinced I have time to answer the phone and talk
5. I can now take naps
6. Strange people come by my house to check oil, cut grass, look at land, read meters, or look into my windows
7. There's nothing good on TV
8. Something tells me I'm not as productive...
   

You know...

I've noticed most of my titles tend to be open ended with a lot of periods after them. Any one else?

So, there's absolutely no point to this post. Truly without agenda other than to say that it's been a few days and it's time to update this thing. Life is pretty fantastic at the moment. I have an amazing group of middle school guys that I love to hang out with. I just started a new job that I am pretty sure will be enjoyable for me, and Jesus continues to pour into my life and teach me things on a daily basis.

It feels really good to be busy again although the trade off is NOT having time to spend with friends like I use to be able to do. My schedule is such that I get random days off with no consistency and have to work very long days. It also has been interesting from moving to a person that was very broke but had tons of time, to someone who now has precious little time and (hopefully) a fair amount of money. I need to re-evaluate my sacrifices and how I budget my resources.

It's about to get ca-razy!!

Don't you hate people that hyphenate words like morons? Things like Bla-dow!, Cha-ching, or ca-razy? I do.


So, starting Monday I'll be working 50-60+ hours a week. It's going to be a tough schedule. 9AM-9PM on many days. I don't expect to see a lot of my friends on a regular basis but with a job comes additional resources so the days I have available I fully intend to take advantage of. I can't even tell you how excited I am to be working again. As much fun as it is to lounge around the house, I really hate it deep down. As lazy as I am, I absolutely thrive on being productive and working hard. I have a very weird personality...

Finally....

After 6 months of unemployment and over three months of failed job hunts, I now have a job. I'll be selling cars at Honda of Concord so if anyone needs a vehicle, please come see me! :-)

On a side note, this means that I won't be moving out of Charlotte. Yay!

The success Pyramid

For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. 2 Peter 1:5-8

The saddest thing I can think of is a Christian that stuffs themselves with theology and fails to live up the great commission. A life in Christ is bleak if you just coast through. This verse really sticks out for me. I picture that stupid nutrition pyramid from grade school, with faith at the bottom and love at the top (except the pyramid is upside down because we are increasing as we move up). I think many of us get caught up in the faith or knowledge part and never struggle to move on to the higher forms. But we need all of these 8 traits to reach our Christ potential.

So where are you at right now? Do you struggle with each of these 8 areas? Are you working on increasing each trait from faith to love? Let's all work on being effective and productive in Christ.

Jesus will sneak up on you!

So, my best friend Kelly and I were talking about how we met the other day. We've been friends for maybe 7 months now, and I was trying to remember exactly how we got to this place. It went something like this...

Kelly and I met at out High School event called Pulse. I remember meeting her and a visiting student pastor named JD at the same time. We talked for maybe an hour and that was it. The next week, our mutual friend Jeremy and I were sitting in service and he pointed her out. Honestly, I forgot who he was even talking about until I saw her face. "Ohhh! That Kelly" Yeah, I'm awesome like that.

So after service we caught her walking out and talked a bit. Elevation was hosting a prayer experience for the volunteers that night so we all decided to go out to lunch and then head back to the church.

Keep in mind, this is only the second time I ever met this girl...

So yeah, I can't tell you what we talked about, nor can I tell you what was going through my mind. I know that I looked back on this picture and couldn't believe it was the second time I had met this girl. "No way, that had to happen after we had known each other a while...."

Apparently not.

It suddenly became clear to me that something pretty significant was happening between us that we were totally unaware of. Now, for us to look back at how we became friends seems impossibly too quick.

All too often we pray, beg, and even demand that God works in our lives in a mighty way. I know that I am going through a time in my life where I am expecting God to fulfill the calling he has placed on me and I have been specifically looking at what he is doing in my life, and yet I totally missed all this when it was occurring. The whole point is that just because we don't see God doing anything doesn't mean the pieces of the puzzle aren't coming together beyond what we can perceive. It also doesn't mean that God isn't working on another puzzle all together.

Job pt. 3

If you read chapters 1 & 2, you should get into chapter 3 and do a spiritual "what the heck?". That's right, Job becomes a poem. What, you didn't notice? Maybe you were too focused on the first verse of chapter 3...

After this, Job opened his mouth and cursed the day of his birth. Job 3:1

Yeah, that's right. After seven days of silence and support from his friends, he opened his dumb mouth and cursed his birth. Now, this is more than just Job saying he wished he didn't have to go through this pain. Job is connected to God in an intimate way. I can't say if the book of Psalms predates Job but....

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. Psalms 139:13-14

God created Job and did so on purpose. For Job to curse the day of his birth is tantamount to Job telling God that He didn't know what He was doing. In other words, Job starts to show his arrogance and the attitude that he knows more than God.

I'll save you the long bits but most of the rest of Job goes like this...

Job's Friends: You must be a sinner. Look at your suffering. God would only do this to a horrible person. (translation, we are judging you although we have no idea what you may have done nor do we have any evidence to support these claims)

Job: I am perfect and undeserving of any punishment. I would tell God how wrong He is but God would just abuse his power and not listen to me any way. I didn't sin, I'm a perfect human being. (translation, I am the greatest thing since sliced bread and God's a mean kid)

Hmm, totally not the Job I remember hearing about. I would suggest you go through and read it if you haven't recently. The end of the story resolved with Job repenting of his sins and realizing that God is truly wonderful and his strength. What I find most interesting about the 40 some chapters in long..... LONG verbose prose that just never seems to go anywhere or stop talking and seems to make me painfully aware of my ADD is that it is how everyone talks. You just don't find this kind of stuff elsewhere in the Bible.

What I mean by this is Job and his friends are all apparently talkative people. Chapter 40 is the appearance of the Lord who speaks out of the storm and guess what.... talks in the same manner as Job and his friends. I find it interesting that God meets them on their terms and in a way that speaks to their hearts. Yup, God may not talk like this anywhere else in the Bible, but he talks like this to the people who need to hear like this. In short, God will speak to you in a unique way tailored to the person he has created you to be. Amen for that!!!

Job pt. 2

(On a total side note, when you start a multi-part blog, finish them all at once so you don't feel like you can't blog until you finish the thing you don't want to get around to....)

Part 1

So, we get to chapter 2.

For starters, Satan is up to his old tricks again, asking God to remove the blessing of good health from Job. I do want to point out that Satan needs God's permission before he can harm Job. Many people seem to think that there is this crazy battle and that on a bad day, Satan gets the upper hand. That just isn't true. God is in total control of everything, even Job's adversary.

So Satan went out from the presence of the LORD and afflicted Job with painful sores from the soles of his feet to the top of his head. Then Job took a piece of broken pottery and scraped himself with it as he sat among the ashes. Job 2:7-8 NIV

Umm, oww! I don't think I can actually imagine the pain involved in that statement. But what does our boy Job do?

His wife said to him, "Are you still holding on to your integrity? Curse God and die!" He replied, "You are talking like a foolish woman. Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?" In all this, Job did not sin in what he said. Job 2:9-10

That's our boy! Even in the face of terrible pain and his wife telling him to give up and die, he stuck to the promise of his Lord. Notice the last sentence. This is the second and last time this phrase appears in Job.

Chapter 2 wraps up with a final story of Job's friends coming to encourage him. What they find is so horrible they can do nothing but show their distress for their friend and sit with him for 7 days and nights in silence. Here's a good lesson about keeping our mouths shut some times. Unfortunately, like myself, they don't....

The blogging funk...

I'm going to warn you all now this will probably turn into a huge cry fest. Umm.... deal with it?

So I've been in a huge funk recently. I have no idea where to go with any of this but the last 5 months have clearly been taking a huge toll on me. Long story short, God placed in my heart a vision to dedicate my life to ministry. Now, I realize I'm too young and too inexperienced to carry it out, but has that ever stopped God before? So armed with a vision and God's promise, I left my job and began to pursue the calling he has placed on my life.

Now it's 5 months later and I still don't have a job, and I'm still struggling to even gain any traction in my quest. Every step forward that I have taken has dissolved around me and I'm faced with the very real possibility of total, humiliating failure. Today has been especially rough. I have no idea how I'm going to come up with bills for next month, and every job that I've tried to get in the last 5 months has been met with one roadblock after another. For a while it was easy to just tell myself that God clearly wanted me to stay focused on the vision for my life, but that is getting harder and harder to tell myself.

And yet, I'm not the least bit upset with any of my circumstances. God is wonderful and has always provided. I have met some amazing people and been mentored by some amazing Christians. I have learned more about my own ability to put faith in Jesus and trust in Him than I thought was possible. I am learning to not trust in myself but that everything I do must find strength in Jesus. I wouldn't trade the last 5 months for anything in the world. If my Lord could hang on a cross for me than I can deal with what ever comes my way in the next month or two.

So if you are reading this feel free to pray for me. I need my next steps.

Job pt. 1

I now realize that so much of my “knowledge” stems from the things I learned before I was a Christian. I remember the first time I learned that Christmas, Easter, even Sunday were all pagan holidays that Christians adopted. I always thought we knew when Jesus was born, when he triumphed over the grave. Then I found out that those are they days we “celebrate” the things we know happened. The story I always heard about Jonah was the first 3 chapters. I didn’t know there was a 4^th chapter until a few months ago. Turns out Jonah was a bitter jerk. He wasn’t the guy I was told about.

Now, I’m reading Job. Wow! Is this every not the story I thought it was. Job is a phenomenal book and there are literally dozens of things that come out of it, and none of them were what I thought they’d be. The story I always heard of Job is all in the first chapter. Why no one every brought up chapter 2-42 I can’t say. I want to spend a while bringing up some things I noticed while reading Job over the next few days. Today’s installment,

Chapter 1:

I read this chapter and I know there are a million things going on here that I am not smart enough to put into context. When I read a sentence that stands out and think to myself “that’s weird, why is it worded like that?” is usually means there’s a significance, I’m just not equipped to understand it. What I do know is Job is a wonderful man who has been very clearly blessed with God’s favor. God is proud of his servant to the point where he presents Job to Satan.

“Then the Lord said to Satan, “Have you considered my servant Job? There is no one on earth like him; he is blameless and upright, a man who fears God and shuns evil.” Job 1:8

We all know what happens next. Satan suggests that Job is only such a great guy because of all the wonderful things God has blessed him with. So God allows Satan to get into Job’s life. And boy does he ever. Job is literally faced with a maelstrom of events. Four messengers come and tell him that all his wealth and all his family are gone, and what does Job do? He worships God. His love wasn’t based on God’s blessings but on God being God. This is the Job we all learned about in Sunday school isn’t it? Then it all kinda falls apart...

...and I took the one less traveled...

There are many paths to a faith in Jesus Christ. Some grow up in church and begin a relationship at a very early age. Some repent of their sins in college, and some recognize the emptiness they’ve carried around for 40+ years can only be filled with Jesus. Depending on your story, your walk in faith will be characterized with different struggles. Some “career Christians” do everything they can just to not get complacent because it’s hard to know what you’ve got if you’ve always had it. In contrast, the drug addict that spent 10 years living on the street knows exactly what life is like without Jesus and probably doesn’t take it for granted. Instead, they have to deal with the daily temptations a life of sin etched deep into their soul that Jesus can and will heal, but it takes time.

I was 21 when I took my first step forward in Christ. I had been a Christian for two years and was sick and tired of squandering the gift of mercy that had been placed before me. My story is much like the drug addict depicted above. My joy in Christ stems from knowing, without a shadow of a doubt, what life without Jesus felt like and feeling grateful and blessed on a daily basis. I will never go back and I wouldn’t trade my circumstance for anything in the world.

The point of this is to say, what ever your story, know the strengths you gain from your situation and celebrate them first and foremost. God knew what He was doing and you are not a mistake. You have a unique perspective because of your life and that is on purpose. But also know your weakness. Know the pitfalls of your situation and be deliberate in those areas.

Crazy crazy crazy....

To follow up on Fridays blog, this Friday I'll be in Danville, Va and next week I'm going to Kershaw, SC (yes, it's actually a town). I feel like all I do any more is drive and I deeply miss when gas was $1.25 a gallon. I remember the first time I put $20 in my Cadillac and I was so mad...

Life seems to be absolutely flying by since Christmas. I'm not sure where all the time has gone but I can't believe it's almost April. I also can't believe that in a little over 6 weeks I'll be turning 26. Growing up, I never understood why adults didn't look forward to their birthdays, but I understand now.

Kelly and I had a phenomenal time hanging out with Phillip and Anita this past week and we are both very excited to be spending time with Larry and Kelly Hubatka this week. I am planning to steal some time away to play with their 4 awesome girls!! I'm hoping that with Easter past, things will slow down a bit and we can all catch our breaths.

Anyway, nothing deep or spiritual this time by. Just felt like explaining why life has been a bit nuts and I haven't been able to steal much time to myself for deep thought. I am about to rip into Visioneering and I'm sure that will spawn all kinds of creativity. Until then...

Anderson, Charlotte, Atlanta, Savannah

The last week has been quiet an interesting rollercoaster. Thursday I found myself in Anderson, SC at Newspring for Unleash, Friday and Saturday I took the race car up to Atlanta amidst tornados and hail storms, and was able to make it back in time for church on Sunday. Monday and Tuesday were spent putting the sale of the car together and doing some additional job hunting. I don’t really have a clue where Wednesday went aside from small groups, and Thursday was spent meeting Phillip for lunch, going to an interview, meeting Michael for dinner, meeting everyone for Lost, then crashing on Phillips couch for 3.5 hours before driving to Savannah Georgia to instruct for a race school. There’s no real point to this aside to remind myself that I’ve been in 4 different cities in the past week.

BTW, it’s 68 degrees, sunny, gorgeous blue skies, and a very slight breeze. I am chilling under my mesh canopy and LOVING this trip. See you guys tomorrow afternoon!!

And then I missed the whole point.

I have struggled greatly in the last four months. I HATE anticipation. I don’t care if it’s good or bad but knowing something is coming……soon….. kills me. Pretend to poke me and I will smack the snot out of you. Punch me and it’s no big deal. Because I’m wired this way, God has never shown me much of my distant future. I couldn’t take it if he did. I know that God doesn’t typically give anyone distant knowledge, but for me it’s 100 times more than that. He won’t tell me what is in store 4 weeks away because that’s too much for me. I’m a “next step” guy and for me the next step is measured in days or hours.

Four months ago, God spoke to my heart in the most incredible way I’ve experienced since I gave my life to Christ. He told me He had plans for me in the church and that I needed to prepare myself for ministry. This was a BIG DEAL! I hated the thought of working for the church. To me, what could be worse than tedious, stressful work for minimal pay? After all, I had always planned to be a financial giver. (In truth, I was selfish and wanted my 90% or 80% to be as big as possible)

But this time was different. The notion that God would use me to reach lost people and live such a meaningful life almost crushed me. I literally wept for hours and could think of nothing else to do but pray that God would keep my incompetence out of His plan. I have never felt so unworthy, humbled, and full of His grace. Next to my salvation it is the most powerful moment in my life.

So I took steps. God shows me short term and I wanted to get on with His calling in my life. I made a lot of sacrifices to position myself how I thought I should and to explore what area of ministry to enter. I studied, prayed, read, and explored so many resources. Weeks turned into months. Time continued to tick by and I continued to remain faithful to what God was telling me. Soon, I found myself in a very tough spot. I had gone out on a limb to trust God and His direction, but things hadn’t worked out. Four months and I feel no closer now than when I started. I have failed at every attempt to move forward and I couldn’t understand why.

Until tonight at Unleash.

I don’t believe it’s arrogant to admit you have abilities or are good at something. If God puts a calling on your life He’s going to give you the ability and gifts to be successful in that area. God has put in my heart a passion and fervor for students and I believe my whole life has been preparation for this. I believe that I have the gifts and abilities to do it and do it well and yet, the opportunities didn’t appear as I expected and I knew that God was still molding and teaching me. Tonight, WHAT God was teaching has become so clear.

I have been so confident in the tools Jesus has gifted me that I have carried on these past few months on my own strength. I have the knowledge, I have the passion, I have the dedication. In truth, Jesus has everything! Somewhere along the path, between weeping on my bedroom floor and Unleash 4 months later, I lost touch with the fact that Jesus sustains me. Jesus lifts me up. Jesus is not just my everything; He is the reason for my everything! I guess I still have so much further to go….

Unleash Recap

Note: This blog was written 4 days ago but I have been without internet.

Unleash has come and gone and it certainly was an experience. There are so many thoughts and feelings that I have that I wasn’t expecting.

1. My work with student ministry and student small groups lately has been a tremendous eye opener. I was involved in the middle school ministry at Newspring for over 4 years as a small group leader and volunteer before getting the opportunity to serve as a ministry leader within Elevation. That role forced me to look at so many things from my past and I now realize how many times I failed at being a great small group leader in the past. I hope I have an opportunity to help our new small group leaders avoid the mistakes I made and do better myself when I get my own group.
2. Alden Ellis and Brad Cooper were amazing during their breakout. I really expected to hear so many things that I already knew (I was involved in their ministry just 6 months ago) but they did a phenomenal job explaining not just what they did, but why they do it. They shared their goals in the ministry and related all of their activities to those. It was tremendously helpful and I am so grateful that God has placed the two of them in the position they are in.
3. God solidified AGAIN that I have a ridiculous passion for student ministry.
4. Perry Noble is amazing! I think at some point I started taking him for granted when I went to Newspring, especially the last year I was there. I don’t know if it was the separation over the last 6 months or the culture of honoring our Pastor as the man of God that is called to lead the church (thank you Elevation) that has changed my mind but I am so grateful for Perry and his heart. Seeing him up on stage preaching and sharing gave me such a tremendous amount of respect for him and I really want to apologize for taking him for granted. Perry had such a tremendous impact on my walk and I don’t know why I let that fact slip away. Every step I took in the first 4 years of my walk with Christ I took at Newspring Church. Thank you so much Perry for being unapologetic and uncompromising in bringing the word of God. Thank you for pouring yourself into the church, your staff, and your congregation. And thank you for pouring your resources into Elevation and Pastor Steven!
5. On that same note, Perry’s message was fantastic. Coming from Orange Tour a month ago, I was expecting witty teaching, radical new ideas, and creative activities. What I got was the word of God, the word of God, and the word of God. Unleash for me was a time to reflect, refocus, and reexamine things. Perry once again spurred me in my walk with Christ and as a “leader” there is no greater concept than ultimate hunger for Jesus.
6. Just before coming to Elevation, God really pulled my heart away from Newspring. I knew and saw all the amazing things around me but I just couldn’t engage with them on the same level anymore. Even when I came back to visit, it never was the same. Today though, about 20 miles away, I started to get tremendously excited. I mean Elevation Level excitement!! By the time my feet hit the parking lot I wanted to scream and hug every volunteer there. My heart was bursting with joy at the sight of the church and the volunteers. Seeing old friends and being continuously welcomed in amazing over the top ways made my day. I want to thank each and every one of my friends, pastors, and volunteers because you reminded me how important those relationships are/were and how much I value our friendship.
7. Every volunteer at Newspring was a freaking nut and it was amazing!!!! Put some blue shirts on them and they could have passed for Elevators. It was crazy for me to see my old friends run up to me, scream, high five, and get pumped to see me. The ridiculously awesome thing though, was to see dozens of volunteers that I’ve never met before and had no idea I use to be one of them do the exact same thing. Kudos +2 for the volunteers at Unleash!!

OK, those are enough random thoughts for tonight. I have an entirely separate blog planned for what God taught me at Unleash that I’m going to start working on right now.

Unleash

It's coming and I'm pumped! Elevation is taking 150 volunteers to Newspring's conference this year and considering most of my friends at church are part of that volunteer base, I get to go on a field trip with all me new friends. And, I get to go see all my old friends. I didn't realize how much I missed everyone and I am so excited to be going back to see how things are going.

I am so grateful that God has placed me in this city and at a church that values the volunteers that work so hard every week. I fully expect a party Elevation style!

Hunting 2

Still job hunting. I've had a few interviews so far but nothing concrete. It occurs to me that I really wish I learned things faster so that God would move faster in my life. One of the things I'm learning is that I need to chillax a bit and take a breath every now and then. Recently, I've realized that I want to see things develop at a very fast pace, and letting things take their time is annoying. I'm working on it....

My life is a headache...

I don't know what it is about my head but it is always causing me problems. Either my sinuses are trashed because of dust or allergies, or I get headaches. So far I have found I get headaches when I...

• Don't eat enough (high metabolism)
• Drink a lot of soft drinks then stop (caffeine withdrawal)
• Have an irregular sleep schedule
• Sleep restlessly

Then there are the times I get them and don't know why. One thing is for sure though, if I go to sleep with even a mild headache, I wake up with a bad migraine. I have learned to take Advil before going to sleep or else I will ruin the next day almost guarenteed. Last night, I went to sleep with a headache. I woke up three hours later with a bad migraine. Why? Because I was to lazy/tired/stupid to take some Advil.

Isn't it interesting how we all wander into sin the exact same way? If we are honest, we know better don't we? We know when we're on the edge of a dangerous situation, and we know how to get out of it. How many guys have gone down the wrong path because they were careless on the internet one night? How many girls have slipped because they couldn't walk away from a relationship they knew was going to be damaging?

When the Holy Spirit is shouting at us that we have a headache, we need to take our Advil and stop the process before it leads to a full blown migraine. It's always the little things that lead to the full blown mistakes!

Hunting

No, not little bunnies. I've been job hunting. I forgot how annoying it is. Spend most of the day sifting through a ton of jobs, apply to the few that might actually work out for you, and wait. And then, wait some more.

I suspect it will be very frustrating. I think I'm going to try visiting some of the temp agencies in Charlotte. If anyone knows of any jobs available please let me know.

What is the deal with technology?

Friday afternoon I was working on my computer. Around 5PM I turned it off and drove down south. A few hours later I went to turn the computer back on and was greeted with "Failed to load Operating System".

Some random file on some obscure section of my hard drive decided to corrupt, rendering the boot sector a total wash. Now, my computer isn't vital to my daily activities. There's nothing I need to do on it to survive, yet I spent two days doing almost nothing because I just didn't know how to function without it. Technology has become so integral to our lives that without it we have trouble falling into our groove don't we?

The crazy thing is that it's only going to get worse (or better. Glass half full?) because technology is entering every part of our lives. As we near the end of our natural lives they are predicting computers will be so cheap they can literally be implanted in everything. The fibers of our clothes, the asphalt in the road, inside paper....

My grandchild will likely have a supercomputer the size of an iPod that he carries around with him to keep him safe and organized. So I guess now would be a good time to say there is really no point to this rant aside from the fact that it really has become clear to me in the past few days how much we now rely on technology and how much more so that will be the case in the future.

Interesting side note, 3 of the last 5 books I've read have been on my laptop.

Thursday!!!

It's Thursday again! That means lost at Phillip's house. I can't believe I'm as excited about this show as I have been considering I barely watched it before this season. Anyway, going to Phillips tonight, in a few hours actually which is a bit weird because the whole staff is at C3 this week so really we're hanging out with Anita and the girls! Now that I think about it, I'm pretty stoked for that too!

Completely unrelated, Savannah Grace asked her mom if I could babysit some time. I seriously freaked for a second because I realized how screwed I'm going to be if/when I have daughters. How on earth am I going to say "no" to my daughter?! I am praying for boys. (you know, after I start dating and all)

On second thought, I'll take the Hubatka girls in a heartbeat!! Kelly, any time you want to loan them out!!

The Wall

We've spent the last two weeks turning our student ministry on it's head, creating small groups and adding a ton of new volunteers. I'm pretty sure in the last two days I've worked 20 hours and there's no sign that there will be any decrease in the volume for a few months.

Don't get me wrong, this isn't my venue to vent at all the work we're doing. It's been nothing short of a blessing in my life. I wonder if this is how Nehemiah felt as he was rebuilding the wall. The gravity of what we're doing and where God is taking this ministry under the direction of Phillip McCart overshadows the amount of work that needs to be done to accomplish it. Even our new volunteers can feel it. I am so grateful for the work they are doing and for the first time since getting involved with our student ministry, it's starting to feel like a family.

I'll try to be a faithful blogger from now on, but no promises! :-)

Who's Listening?

I learned a few years ago that I tend to be a very bad person to talk with. If you engage in a conversation with me in a crowded room, I am almost guaranteed to be looking all around while you're talking to me. I'm still listening to you, but my brain likes to distract me. If we are talking in my house or office, I usually try to multi-task while we're talking. Usually, I just walk away mid-sentence. I learned a few years ago to let people know I was still listening because it got awfully annoying when people stopped talking to me as I walked away.....

Then, there is the particularly unique way I listen intently to people. Usually, when I am being explained something deeply important, I stare at the ground. The only thing I can figure is that I'm starving my brain of stimulation so that it has to intensely concentrate on what I'm hearing. Kind of like whispering so that the people around you have to concentrate. I hate listening. I am not an auditory learner.

Last week Pastor Furtick pulled me on stage during the third service. I had absolutely no idea what was going on, but before I knew it I was literally a foot away from him as he was preaching. Believe me when I say that he was bringing it too!! I did the first thing that came to mind, I looked straight down and tried to focus on what he had to say. The next thing he said was "look at me!" I wish I had a picture of my face. I was probably horrified.

I was thinking about this today some more. A lot of times I feel like I'm having a conversation with God, but He isn't even looking in my direction. And, it seems the more I scream and insist He looks at me, the more His focus is elsewhere. Of course, the reality of the situation is much different. Just because He isn't responding to me in the way I expect, I think he isn't listening but that just isn't the case. God is always listening and He loves me intensely each and every day and I am grateful for it.

And Pastor Steven, I just wanted you to know how incredible it was to stand next to you as you preached the word of God. The calling on your life is a very real thing and it was a huge honor to stand in your presence during that time. I haven't looked at my Bible the same way since.

My need

The last two days have been very heavy. I have spent 13 hours at a conference, 8 hours in conversation about changes and challenges, a few hours wrestling with my calling and God's positioning of my life, and gotten through about half of "Making Vision Stick" by Andy Stanley. I made it home around 9PM tonight, and just hung out in front of the TV for a bit to unwind. When my movie was over, I reached for the book again so that I could finish it up before going to sleep.

That's when I looked at it for a minute, and put it down. Instead, I picked up my Bible and turned to Nehemiah; because what I don't need any more of tonight is another outsider to speak into me. What I need tonight is for God to move within me and for me to just listen.

Beyond Limits (part 3)

Please read Beyond Limits part 1 & part 2 before this or it probably won't make much sense.

In part 1 we talked about the difference between a limitless God and the limitations of humans. Part 2 talked about the comparison we often make between ourselves and others, when the only one that matters is the comparison between us and God. For part three, we're going to talk briefly about capacity.

Let's forgo the numbers for a moment and use water as an analogy. We'll call God all the oceans in the world since it is a fairly large concept (even though God in infinitely larger). Let's say that we, as creatures with limits, have containers that vary in size from cups to swimming pools. Still with me? Ok, I'm holding a cup of water. In that cup are all my issues, all my strengths, all my abilities and problems. If I were to take that cup to the beach and pour it into the ocean, how much bigger would the ocean get? Even if every molecule of H2O spread out, would the ocean even rise one molecule? For all real purposes, the ocean would be totally unaffected. Imagine the same scenario with a swimming pool. Would all the molecules spread all over the globe and raise the oceans? Most likely not.

So then why do we hesitate sometimes to bring our issues to God? Other people can only handle us to a certain extent. Enough cups of water and you'll fill a swimming pool. Get two people together with cups and they are very limited in what they can take from us. But if you see God as an infinite ocean that can always take everything we put on Him, maybe we'll be more likely to turn to Him right away instead of hesitating. He'll never fill up. He can always take everything from us and be ready for more.

Now, reverse the scenario. How much smaller does the ocean get if you take out a cup of water? The coolest thing about God having infinite capacity is that He has infinite supply. He can fill my cup, your swimming pool, and everyone else's and still be just as infinitely huge as ever. Moreover, I can only pour so much of myself into other people (look at part 2 for why we need to pour into others) before my cup is empty. God, can pour enough into my cup that it overflows and I can never run out. Through God, I can tap into an infinite supply and pour into others with more to spare. He will never run out, and will never reach a limit. We need to connect to that source and trust in it.

Beyond Limits (part 2)

Sorry for the delay. Bonfires, race cars, church, and everything in between seemed to get in the way.

This is a continuation of Beyond Limits (part 1)

So the cool thing about finite creatures and infinite God is the amount of metaphors that come from this. We already saw briefly how impossibly small we are compared to God. Billy Graham may be 10 trillion, and I may only be 50, but when compared to an infinite God, we are both impossibly small.

So why then do some of us spend our lives trying to grow in knowledge? Well, there are things that knowledge is good for. For starters, as finite creatures with a limited capacity, knowledge helps us to understand God within the capacity of our own selves and possibly our micro-universe. I say possibly because limited knowledge can be misleading if God is acting on an infinite scale in the world around us. (we'll get into this point another time) Secondly and probably most important of all, the knowledge that God blesses us with is a wonderful tool for helping those around us. If an infinite God pours bits of himself into us, we are then able to touch those around us with a piece of infinite resources. We'll go deeper with this topic in part 3.

Unfortunately, some of us pursue knowledge for wrong reasons. If we seek to learn more about God just to be smarter, what is the point? If I spend my whole life growing from a 50, to 10 trillion, how far away am I still from true knowledge? You guessed it, still infinity. I can spend my whole life learning, seeking, and growing, but at the end of my life, I am still impossibly far away from the truth. My life has been spent chasing an impossible task. I can never know the answers. I might know some of them, but in the end I would be like a little boy trying to scoop up handfuls of sand so that I can carry the whole beach.

Seek knowledge so that you can grow closer to God. I pray that He will reveal the parts of himself that we need most to accomplish our tasks in this life. I pray that he will use us and our capacity to make a difference and that we will spend our lives impacting those around us.

Beyond Limits (part 1)

It's time for a math lesson.
Oh Crap! Did he just say ....... MATH!?
It's ok, you should be able to stick with this one easily enough.

Lesson 1:
What is greater, 50 or infinity?

OK, I hope you said infinity.

Lesson 2:
How much bigger is it?

Infinity times bigger right? Makes sense. If the number "50" cannot go beyond it's fixed limit, and if the number "infinity" keeps going and going and going, it makes sense that it is infinitely times bigger.

Now which is bigger, 1 million or infinity? Again, "infinity" is larger. How much larger? Infinity times larger. What about 100 trillion and infinity? Again, the same result. The fact is simply that nothing with limitations, boundaries, or definition can ever out-pace something that is infinite, without boundaries or limitations. And it doesn't matter how much bigger the number on the left is, the difference is always infinity.

It's important to realize that God is infinity. He is beyond limits, beyond definition, beyond boundaries. We, as finite creatures can never measure up by definition. We will always be impossibly small compared to an infinite God. Stay tuned for the conclusion of this point tomorrow and to see a few other neat points about this lesson.

One concept in management is the importance of setting goals. They need to be challenging yet attainable in order to challenge us to achieve them without discouraging us from giving our best. They also need to be clear and measurable so they are understood and so we can gauge how well they have been met.

The reason we set goals in management is because of an underlying concept. We must be moving towards a goal. There needs to be a direction and it needs to be in line with the overall goals of the organization.

Once goals and directions are in place, you can examine you systems to determine how effective they are in achieving your goals.

This was all driven home for me now that I am helping out with Pulse, our high school ministry. When I came on board, we had no staff members casting vision or giving a direction for the ministry. Now that Phillip McCart our family pastor is here, we are rooting out the direction of Pulse, and we have clear goals that our ministry needs to achieve. Unfortunately, this Sunday it was very evident that our current volunteer system is not accomplishing that goal. It's partly frustrating to me because we've spent 3 months building this model and we're going to have to change it again, but at the same time encouraging because the new system will really allow us to better utilize our amazing group of volunteers.

I'm sure that we're now moving in the right direction and I'm grateful for the leadership of Phillip and the outstanding group of volunteers that are dedicated to serving Jesus and forming relationships with our students.

Importance

I'm slowly learning things that I should already know, but am slow to pick up on. This week at Elevation was informative to me because I realized how unimportant we all really are. We were missing a few key people Sunday morning, but things went on as they always do. I started to reflect on that fact. How important am I really?

I like to think the job I do matters, and that I do it in a way that no one else could, but in the end, how important am I really? I realized that deep down, the church doesn't need me. Sure, if I disappeared tomorrow I would be missed (I hope so anyways), but the world would keep on spinning.

But even more important is that no one person at this church is vital to it. Even Pastor himself can take a week off, and things would continue. Does that mean he isn't important? Absolutely not. Every person volunteering and serving at church is important and is living out God's calling in their lives, but they aren't more important than the Church. That's the key. Jesus Christ is the one and only person that needs to show up every Sunday for this thing to work.

Evolution

When I first became a Christian and started exploring God, it was like He slowly painted a picture for me. Every thing I learned was a new line of the image. Every relationship I formed, every thing he taught me, added another color. And finally, when it was all over, when I understood "Christianity", the picture was complete and I had something to look at, visualize, and wrap my mind around.

The problem, was that I felt like I was looking at a 4x6 picture of a mountain, all the while my soul cried out, trying to tell me what a mountain really was. I couldn't shake the feeling that my picture was horribly simple and didn't even begin to do justice to what the reality really was. Much like looking at a picture of Mt Everest, and actually standing on top of it, I had to know what was really behind the image.

So my search for truth didn't stop at the image. I spent more time exploring God, and a crazy thing started to happen!

I think I expected the picture to get more complex; 3 dimensional maybe, or become larger, or have more detail. I expected God to continue to reveal himself in the same way, only better. What started to happen though, was that my image of God, Christianity, and Truth all started to dissolve. They began to fade away because no image could ever seek to explain the real thing. No picture could ever replace the experience, the emotion of standing on a mountain peak. The hard thing for me now, is explaining just what that looks like. As a finite being, any definition, any image, any word that I can use to describe an infinite God, puts limits and boundaries on what He really is. The image dissolved because in order for me to discover more, the boundaries had to dissolve.

My image of God has been replaced with emotions, feelings, and certainty. Things without boundaries or limits. Only these things can express something beyond limits and boundaries. When you seek God beyond the limits, be prepared for Him to shatter your ability to understand and express what He really is.

Quick Snippets

Walk with me through the land of ADD....

• "Either you stay desperate for God or He will make you desperate for Him." I really like this quote and try to remember it so I don't forget to stay desperate and connected

• This past Sunday at Elevation was crazy. 3500 attendees, 135 salvations, 1001 more guests than our previous service....

• I was able to confirm two new volunteer leaders for our High School ministry. We now have a mingle team leader who is amped to connect with students and help others do the same as well as a High School greeters leader who has so much potential and is such an amazing Christian. I can't wait for God to bring in some more. This ministry is on the fast track to amazing!

• I just found out I get to be the series director for the NASA Endurance Series this year. 6 races on Fridays that last 3 hours or more. The car is coming along nicely and my co-driver is an ex-ALMS, ex-Koni Challenge racer with tons of experience. I expect to learn a lot from driving with him.

• Finally, this is a neat bit of imagery that Craig Groeschel posted on prayer. I really liked it.

Parents explain the world by simplifying things down into ways children can understand. No one would expect a parent to use the history of society or the behavioral traits of nomadic tribes to explain to a child that friends are important. Instead, adults simplify the message so that the key points make it through to the child. Now, every child has a different propensity for understanding messages. Some kids are just brighter than others; some naturally understand certain concepts and struggle to grasp other ones. As such, a parent will tailor a message to each child in a way that will maximize the impact based on that child's ability to comprehend and utilize the information. The important thing to see is that, although the child cannot possible understand the total scope of the idea, they can behave as if they do when taught properly.

In other words, a child may not understand the importance of shared society, social benefits of groups, or job specialization, but they can be taught to share and be kind to others. They can behave as if they understand the importance of social interactions and get the key parts correct, even without an understanding of the whole scope.

I believe that God acts in a very similar way with us, only on a much more intense scale. Eventually, a child will grow up into an adult, and their propensity to understand will be equal. Humans on the other hand, are finite beings with a limit ability to understand. When compared to an infinite God we cannot even begin to comprehend the separation between the scope of things and what we are exposed to.

God cannot show us the whole of everything. God can't even show us the whole of something. Instead, He has to simplify things down in ways we can understand, and just as the children above everyone has a different propensity for understanding. I think God shows different people different parts of Himself and in different ways. The end result of this is that two different people can sit next to each other, with totally different views of God, and both be 100% right. Interestingly, they are both probably very ignorant. I think that you can lock yourself up for 70 years, and spend so much time learning about God that you make Billy Graham and Joel Osteen look like pre-schoolers, and you'll still only have scratched the surface.

The point, is that we can never understand God or even really know Him. (in the knowledge sense, not the personal relationship sense) What we can do is trust Him to teach us the things that we need in order to behave in the manner He wants us to. We won't get the same things that everyone else does, because we have a different capacity than those around us; however, we will get what is best for us. I look at those around me and rejoice for what God is showing them, even if it doesn't make sense to me. I look within myself and I am blown away that an infinite God would invest into a finite being. I pray that I am faithful in what I am given and I pray that I never forget that all the knowledge in the world is nothing in comparison to the God of the Universe.