Early in my walk I couldn't shake the feeling that something didn't line up with my view of God and what the church taught me, although I couldn't say specifically what. I think the feeling was really based on the fact that many things didn't line up from my life experience and what Christianity taught me. So I started asking questions...
As a human, I seek to understand the world by defining in words things around me. Explaining things in tangible, real ways. The problem with exploring God in this way is attempting to define an infinite being in a finite language. The more I asked questions and sought to understand God by defining things, the more my existing definitions started to disappear. In the end, God ended up replacing so much of my explainable definition of who/what He was with simple feelings.
That's what God really is when you get down to it. A sentence can't even begin to define God but a feeling is a passionately emotional thing. A feeling exists in every part of your body, evoking a reaction thought out each and every part of you.
On the other side of that particular journey, God reconciled all of my problems, but I can't explain a single one in a way that makes sense or fits really. All I can say is that God has left me with feelings. I feel what God has instructed me to do, what I know he can reconcile because of his greatness, and I feel who God is. It's so much better than being able to define it!!
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you know, as i was writing my blog today i thought about this and our conversation last night. because i see the way you look at things, it makes it okay for me to look at things different, i think. maybe it's just because you're the most radical example of that to me right now.
and the whole feelings thing is encouraging, too. especially becuse the last time i made a big decision it was based off what i FELT God calling me to do. and then passive dude #1 in my life blew up, but whatever...
:]
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