Who's Listening?

I learned a few years ago that I tend to be a very bad person to talk with. If you engage in a conversation with me in a crowded room, I am almost guaranteed to be looking all around while you're talking to me. I'm still listening to you, but my brain likes to distract me. If we are talking in my house or office, I usually try to multi-task while we're talking. Usually, I just walk away mid-sentence. I learned a few years ago to let people know I was still listening because it got awfully annoying when people stopped talking to me as I walked away.....

Then, there is the particularly unique way I listen intently to people. Usually, when I am being explained something deeply important, I stare at the ground. The only thing I can figure is that I'm starving my brain of stimulation so that it has to intensely concentrate on what I'm hearing. Kind of like whispering so that the people around you have to concentrate. I hate listening. I am not an auditory learner.

Last week Pastor Furtick pulled me on stage during the third service. I had absolutely no idea what was going on, but before I knew it I was literally a foot away from him as he was preaching. Believe me when I say that he was bringing it too!! I did the first thing that came to mind, I looked straight down and tried to focus on what he had to say. The next thing he said was "look at me!" I wish I had a picture of my face. I was probably horrified.

I was thinking about this today some more. A lot of times I feel like I'm having a conversation with God, but He isn't even looking in my direction. And, it seems the more I scream and insist He looks at me, the more His focus is elsewhere. Of course, the reality of the situation is much different. Just because He isn't responding to me in the way I expect, I think he isn't listening but that just isn't the case. God is always listening and He loves me intensely each and every day and I am grateful for it.

And Pastor Steven, I just wanted you to know how incredible it was to stand next to you as you preached the word of God. The calling on your life is a very real thing and it was a huge honor to stand in your presence during that time. I haven't looked at my Bible the same way since.