Proverbs 18:17

"The first to present his case seems right, till another comes forward and questions him." (NIV)
"He who tells his story first makes people think he is right, until the other comes to test him." (NLV)

I always seem to be on the listening side of my friends as they wrestle with ideas or decisions in their lives. I am not sure exactly why people naturally come to me for advice or to just talk, but I am very humbled by it. When someone is willing to invite you into an area of their lives that they are confused about or struggle with, they are showing you how much they value and respect you as a friend.

One of the things I've learned through this process is how different a situation can seem to different people. It is very easy to get caught up in the story of how so-and-so wronged a person, or how a certain situation is completely out of control. When I start to hear a story about a situation, I always try to tell myself there is a second, or even third side to the story. I will usually put myself in the position of others in the story and try to figure out why a situation developed.

Of course, when the situation involved other people, especially brothers/sisters in Christ, there are boundaries. When is it OK to offer counsel and when must we send our brothers and sisters to the source?

When will giving advice spur on someone to good deeds and when is it just making room for gossip?

Are they just trying to stir something up? Are they more interested in telling you how wrong someone is instead of genuinely trying to understand the situation so that they can proceed with wisdom and love? I believe that often, we need an outsiders perspective on a situation before we can proceed with a clear head, however there is a fine line and it is very easy to cross over into the land of destruction. Make sure you filter a persons reasons and listen to their heart before you allow them your ear.